THE OTHER SIDE OF ABSENCE
“Absence diminishes little passion and increases the great one, just the way a wind blows out a candle and fans a fire”.
I don’t remember whose quote was this. In fact, there are some quotes, when I read for the first time, I come to like it so much that, after reading that I try to remember the whole lines closing my eyes once and then, if I can recall back it completely without any mistake, it becomes ‘mine’ for ever. Not all quotes are like that, but some quotes touches your thought the moment you hear, and this one is, one such quote.
Here by absence, I mean the ordinary term “absence”, when you are away from the person close to your heart........ when nothing seems matter any more, when even the best possible food doesn’t satisfy your appetite, when the best possible sights doesn’t make you dance with laughter.
It’s a different state, especially when you know, you yourself have welcomed this suffering, for some reason or other. Human mind is perhaps the most complicated thing in this World. In summer it looks for winter and in winter, it remembers back the sunny days of summer. There are more paradoxes in it than simplicity. In many situations, you tend to take decisions and make choices that are against your own wish, sometimes for the sake of your own conscience, the conscience whose priorities are different from that of your heart. Your heart wants to go in one direction and your conscience pushes you just in the opposite……and ultimately, you lend up in a situation where nothing matters, except yearning for your near and dear ones. You start countdown when it was meant to be count up….when the days you’ve passed is just a fraction of the days yet to pass,….still your heart takes solace in counting down, no matter how big the figure is. Atleast one day is reduced with every passing day and that makes you happy.
But surprisingly, with all the heartaches, there are some very positive points with absence too, just said in the quotation. It increases your passion and longing. You get a chance to introspect your relationship and realize the vacuum that is created just because someone is not there with you. You get the chance to look into your relationship from all possible angles, the angles which were lying dorment long back and you just understand once again how much the other person actually means to you.
I think absence is the best remedy if you are in a state of the relationship when you start taking each other for granted, knowingly or unknowingly. Perhaps, the day’s logistics were keeping you so busy that you’ve stopped acknowledging so many little things he does for you in a day to day basis, the countless sacrifices he makes just for your happiness and care. Absence is just like watching a movie second time at your leisure time when your mind is free from many prejudices and of course with all time & space at your stride and you have all the times to look into your life together, again and again. You remember some scenes, but don’t remember many, you realize as the movie proceeds. Then, there is your favourite scenes, which you may play more than once and enjoy it again. Then there are some climax scenes, serious, touching…or maybe even bitter scenes, but still, they are just part of the movie. The movie is incomplete without them.
The truth in absence is, it makes you ‘think’ about the person who was with you for so many days and nights like your shadow that you almost forgot to bother about his existence. Over the time, he has become such a part of your life that you were never being able to look at him as another individual. Its like, if you are over the ship, you’ll hardly get a chance to see how beautiful the ships looks when it sails over the water. But the best part of absence is, it gives you the long lost opportunity of looking at him from a distance and makes you fall in love with him once again, just like the beginning, for all the same reasons and many more.
[NOTE: Here "HE" includes "SHE" too, I've used only "HE" just for the convenience of writing]
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Ether
You put in just in three words, wonderful!
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Absence trigger craving!
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Kunjubi
Thanks for your kind words.
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Love is many a splendoured thing. Boundless , fathomless, indefinable, and the manifestation of that emotion in the heart is multitudinous..Like an unending stream,like the roar of the ocean..... You are deeply in love...immersed in its sweetness. otherwise this poem would not have been.... congrats,.... cheers..
kunjubi
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Rosiem
Well........there's really a strong enough reason to write that article.......I'm united with my loved ones, but only at my heart.
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Isha
Well......I'm really happy that you liked it. I hope your married life's troubles will be settled down soon. Let me know if there's any way I can help you out.
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great write up.. wonder what made you write it! hope you are united with your loved one soon..
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this blog is present life, my married lies in trouble, now i got a different perspective to life,thanks
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Thanks Kamaljee, your comment means a lot to me and I mean it.
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Dear Ann,
How true.Rightly they say " Absence makes the heart grow fonder.Good one.Regards.kamal
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